Friday, August 23, 2019

Unrealistic Expectations

Nothing can quite prepare you for Motherhood.

I mean the pregnancy might go some way to prepare you for the sleep deprivation I guess but there is this massive shift in your reality that starts the day your baby is born that is rather indescribable. 

My favourite Ryan Reynolds quote sums up some of this quite perfectly. All of the feelings you have for anyone (including yourself) suddenly take a back seat to this precious bundle of joy.

I was no stranger to changing nappies or soft plays or even making up milk before I had Martin but it was a completely new level of exhaustion and overwhelm.

I bang on a lot about the 'mental load' of a mother (or a carer) because it's something I find even more exhausting than a colicy baby. The worry about safe sleeping arrangements, correct feeding levels, burping, car seat safety, nap times, developmental leaps, using the right baby products, giving them "tummy time' and everything else they might need never goes away. 

I can't help but notice though that the programmes we see on TV could use a little more reality to them when a new baby comes along. Do you remember when Rachel had a baby in Friends? After an episode or two showing Rachel with natural make-up and a couple of baggy t-shirts she bounced right back into being uber glam. And her life changed in no way shape or form except the coffee cup in her hand was often replaced by a car seat. Oh and they hired a nanny! (Great episode though!)

Similarly in 'The Big Bang Theory' the baby Bernadette and Howard have actually doesn't appear on camera, they both continue to lead their social lives with the only adjustment being a little white baby monitor on the coffee table. 

Babies don't just slide effortlessly into our lives. They consume our thoughts, capture our hearts and take us to the brink of madness and back! 

Would we have it any other way?


  1. I am not yet a mother so can't fully comment on this but I totally get the frustration with misrepresentation of things in the media. I think it can be really detrimental as you don't mentally prepare yourself for these things if you don't know about them! I understand that babies are little bundles of joy but they seem bloody hard work, too!
    Alice Xx

  2. I totally agree with this post. TV does set unrealistic expectations of motherhood and its damaging. Thanks for highlighting this and yes although I don't have any kids babies really do capture hearts but also take us to the point of madness. Maybe if TV shows were more realistic they could prepare parents better? Great read

    Sarah -

  3. Yes! So much yes to this post! Nothing prepares you for motherhood, not really because we are fed this fantasy that it's easy, it's all good when there's so much we could see if they added a little more reality.

    Jordanne ||

  4. I'm not a parent so can't really comment on this but I understand the frustrations of how everything is portrayed in the media. And I love that Ryan Reynolds quote too! x


  5. That Ryan Reynolds quote is also my favourite and I think of it often. It makes me quite teary coz I feel exactly the same about my girls.
    You’re so right about tv though it really doesn’t show the half of it. Well said :) xx

  6. Ryan Reynolds is the best, haha. I can relate to you about unrealistic expectations. I see them a lot and realize that I might need to adjust my thoughts, oop! Sending you lots of love!

    Nancy ♥


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